A couple of weeks ago I caught the plague. Ok, I suppose it was more like a sinus infection, but it felt like the plague. I’ve been without insurance for a while, so I put off going to the doctor until the very last-minute. I probably was really very close to mutating into the plague (why no, I’m not going to stop beating the dead horse, why do you ask?).
So I take my two-hour trek to my doctor’s office. Yep, it’s an hour both ways, so that’s the first awesome thing going on here. I then have to make the 20-year-old “billing agent” understand I don’t have insurance and will be paying for the visit myself. I ask her what the charge is. She says “I won’t know until after Doctor codes it.”
Whatever the hell that means. Fine. So I have my appointment, bring my little sheet back to little miss thang and ask again what the charge is. She looks at the paper for about 5 minutes then says “Doctor didn’t code it. We’ll bill you.”
I’m so annoyed at her just calling him “Doctor” and dealing with her that I say fine and just leave.
Two weeks later I get a bill for $65 for the office visit. The very next day I get a bill for $125, for an office visit. I call “Patient Accounting” to ask them which bill is correct. The woman I now call assbasket tells me both of them.
Me: Excuse me? Why am I paying two bills for one office visit?
Assbasket: One is for our facilities department.
Me: Why would I be paying a facilities department?
Assbasket: Because the clinic is attached to the hospital. There is a facilities charge.
Me: So you mean to tell me I’m paying $125 to WALK IN THE DOOR?
Me: Really? Because this sounds illegal to me.
Assbasket: It’s our billing practice. Won’t your insurance be paying this bill?
Me: *many many words that are not nice that lead to the effect of I don’t have insurance assbasket*
Assbasket: This is our billing practice.
Me: Ok then.
And that’s how I ended up paying double the cost of actually seeing my doctor to walk into his freaking office. Next time I’m just going to let the plague get me.